Challenges

Since our Sold sign went up things have really felt different for me. On one hand I don't really know how or what to feel, and on the other hand I feel every possible emotion there is. It feels a lot more real now, that we are actually leaving. I have already caught myself a few times saying out loud, "I don't want to go anymore". But then in the next moment I am excited about what is coming. I am not good with change and I dread it horribly, but at the same time of being afraid I am looking forward to what this change will all bring. I have started going through our house, mostly in my mind, and putting things into categories: storage, bring with us, sell, MCC. I already have 1 box that we will either try to sell or bring to MCC.

We have so many things, I am using the modo "Do we really NEED this?" It sure does help to know what we really need to bring along. It's hard for me to think that we can't bring nearly everything, as I am a little sentimental. I just keep reminding myself even though we can't necessarily bring stuff along, we can put it into storage.

I realized this past weekend that I don't let my true emotions and feelings out. Apparently I have changed over the last number of years, since getting married, and I like the happy easy life, instead of letting myself feel true emotions. But really this isn't the happy easy life as emotions catch up to me, and it's worse than if I would have just let things out at the beginning. I don't know if this makes sense, but it helps me to write this down. So I am working on learning how I feel on different issues that come up, and sharing them right away instead of bottling them up for future. It's hard for me to show people how I am really doing, so this is a huge challenge for me. Can you help me in my efforts by praying for me? I have a feeling prayer might help.